My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
