it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
