Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
