oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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