her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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