Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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