You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Damn victory sex feels great
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize