I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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