I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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