at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
