he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Girls should come with a carfax report
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize