i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize