just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
