R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
