Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize