I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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