I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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