I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize