I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
