She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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