You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
