Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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