I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
