She's the barista slut.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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