so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
