You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
