oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
