My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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