me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
