Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
