Midget sex pt 2 tonight
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My penis needs a shock collar
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
