I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
