If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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