just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
