I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
