Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Sorry about my life...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
