In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
