lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
