glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
