Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
