I'm eating all of the evidence.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
