yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
