How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize