yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize