About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize