Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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