Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
