I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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