can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
