it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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