yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
