We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
