he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Everything about him screamed your future.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
