Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
