The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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