She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize