roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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