Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
