are you still at the devil's house?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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