At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize