the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have aggressive nipples.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
