Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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